Tiers of Joy

Success is the idol of America. Success can come in many different fashions, and everything in our society seems to be driven to produce success or promote success or prove success. This cultural tendancy even manifests itself in the church, where Christians struggle with the difference between depending on faith and works. Some feel obligated to convert others to Christianity, as a measure of their faith.

I even find myself defining my own faith by how I feel at the moment. I come home from camp retreats or special worship services feeling on fire and ready to say that my faith is strong. Then, I have a busy day and neglect my prayer and devotions and say that I have incredibly weak faith.

I once heard of faith being described as a majestic building where one starts out on the bottom floor and as he grows in his understanding, finds his way up the levels of the building, never quite reaching the top, because God cannot be fully-known, but getting closer all the same. But I wonder whether this is a good way to look at faith.  There is always a danger in breaking faith down into steps. Legalism and works-based salvation can take center stage. Instead of seeking the top of the building, the man inside is endlessly seeking the nearest staircase or elevator.

When I visited the Subiaco monastery, I began thinking about the way the monks lived out their faith and I realized that in my own faith, I seemed to always be looking for the next "mountaintop experience", those times when you feel sure of everything and feel that you have seen reality. I believe we should look for these experiences, but keep in mind that they do not epitomize our faith. Faith is not shown by new big experiences but by the daily walk, the race that requires endurance.

Perhaps it would be better to view it as a mountain, where one may switch back and forth, but the path essentially moves steadily upwards. And even though the hiker feels like he's not getting anywhere, he may catch a moment where he sees past the trees and realizes just how far his constant marching has taken him. This lookout point perhaps represents the "mountaintop experience" (although for this analogy, he is not quite on the top of the mountain).

I've been thinking a lot about goal-making lately; New Year's is here after all. I am someone who makes a lot of goals and meticulously searches for ways to fulfill them. But I think I need to be careful in the way I make my goals. Steps help you see the success made and break down a much great goal, but may distract from the overall objective. Last year, I tried to make big goals with no guidelines, thinking they would trip me up eventually, but I did not come much closer to achieving my goals, since I had nothing to hold me accountable. This year, I plan to make big goals, come up with guidelines and/or steps to help me along the way, but find some way to remind myself regularly of the overall goal to keep me on track.

I won't place my New Year's Resolutions here, partially because they're rather personal, but largely because I haven't taken enough time to really think what I want them to be. But I know that one goal, as always, will be to grow in my faith, and even if I brainstorm specific ways I might want to see that happen, the most important thing is that I keep my eyes fixed upon Jesus, who is the goal of the faith.